


Forever with You

by thatcomicfan



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Reader-Interactive, Steve Rogers Feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-06-28 07:59:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15703104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatcomicfan/pseuds/thatcomicfan
Summary: It was impossible for you to register how close Steve was to you at the moment because you were too busy seething. You backed away from him as tears threatened to spill from your eyes. "I am an Avenger. I had as much right to fight Thanos as anyone else did. Yes, I could have died, but that could have happened whether I fought him or not. He could have snapped me out of existence. But I am here, aren't I? But I get it, Steve. You'll never see me as an equal, as an Avenger. Because I am not fast enough, not strong enough, not good enough. I get it. I'll never be good enough for you."Set post Avengers: Infinity War. Steve Rogers x Reader One shot.





	Forever with You

You walked or rather limped, clutching your side. Till now you had seen T'Challa and the sentient tree disappear into dust before your eyes. It had left you confused and a lot more scared than anything you had seen since you had first joined the Avengers which hadn't been very long. Your first big fight, in fact, was on the Berlin airport against the people you had once called your teammates. You had sided with Mr Stark when it came to the Accords because it seemed like the most reasonable option then. Even though your heart broke at the prospect of arresting the man you had been harbouring a crush on since a few months after joining the team, you were left with no choice but to fight your Captain. You had seen the betrayal and disappointment in his eyes when you all met him at the airport. You didn't know how much of it was directed at you because you were sure he saw you as a rookie, nothing else. It was probably because you weren't a super soldier, neither did you have a suit nor were you an enhanced like Wanda. You were just you, and your weapon of choice was a pair of retractable swords. They did make you look a lot more intimidating than the kid Mr Stark had brought in who could shoot webs like a spider.  
  
You could not ignore the plight of your heart much longer and you had betrayed your own team to help Steve escape. This ultimately led you to get imprisoned on The Raft and then being rescued by your Captain. And since then, you had been on run along with Steve, Sam, and Natasha. And that brought you here in Wakanda, face to face with a creature none of you could stop. Even the Hulk wouldn't come out to fight Thanos. But you understood that there was too much at stake and you simply couldn't let him win. You also couldn't let him reach Vision before Wanda destroyed the one last stone that he still hadn't gotten his purple hands on. So you drew your swords and stood before him, alone. Thanos didn't even spare you a second glance when he saw you blocking his path. You eyed the studded gauntlet and ran. You jumped on a rock to gain leverage and leapt towards him with the intention of slicing off his left arm. This was your best option. If it killed you in the process, so be it. Mid-air, you noticed that Thanos had clenched his hand into a fist and pulled it back. You only had a fraction of second to see the stones on the gauntlet glow before you were thrown backwards with an immeasurable force. Your swords fell out of your hands and you fell on the ground hard. To your chagrin, you had landed on a rock, hard enough that the impact had cut your side open to with your blood gushing out like a fast flowing river. You clutched it tight, but you didn't scream. You were pretty sure you sprained your leg too. So you lay there, hoping, praying, that while you failed, someone else would manage to stop Thanos.  
  
It was all in vain. You knew you had lost and Thanos had won when you saw people turning to dust. It was the most horrifying experience, seeing people look at themselves as their limbs disappeared only to realize that they were dying. You reached out towards a Wakandan woman, trying to grab her arm when her eyes fell on her own hands slowly disintegrating. Your fingers came up empty. She was gone, right in front of your eyes. The last look she had given you was burned in your brain. You had never seen anyone so scared and you had never, in your life, felt so helpless. Your mind instantly went to Steve as you had come to call him now after months of being on the run together. You were desperately hoping he hadn't met the same fate as the people in front of you. When your eyes landed on him, bruised, exhausted but alive, you breathed in relief. You limped towards him, increasing your speed while ignoring the pain in your leg.  
  
When he noticed you, the sadness in his eyes was replaced by relief first, and then anger. You stopped in your tracks, his glare freezing you, rendering you immobile for a moment. A hand touched your own and you looked up to see Nat who was checking the gash on your side. "It's bleeding real bad," she muttered, not looking at you, but you didn't miss the waver in her voice. She helped you walk close to some of the survivors. There was Steve, of course, the talking Racoon, that you didn't know. And then there was Nat, you, Rhodes, Bruce, and Thor. You hadn't met the God of Thunder before but you had seen him in action several times. He gave Thanos a good fight but failed otherwise. Wordlessly, it was agreed that you and the others would stay at Wakanda for a night to recuperate. Okoye had only said as much but you could see the grief she held behind her stoic expressions. No one mentioned the loss of loved ones and for that you were thankful. Because, in all honesty, you didn't know what to say or how to address what had happened. You couldn't think about it. The pain was making you dizzy already. The others noticed your pale form and before you could say a word, you were beginning to fall. You felt a pair of muscled arms catch you as you let exhaustion claim you.  
  
You woke up in a bed, covered in a huge blanket, feeling a lot better than before. You noticed that you were not in your uniform anymore. You were in clean clothes instead. It looked somewhat like a hospital gown but with intricate patterns on the neckline. The wound on your side had healed a lot faster than it should have but your ankle still hurt. You recalled then, that you were still in Wakanda. The memories of your battle with Thanos returned to you and you groaned, clutching your hair with your fingers roughly. Tears came and you didn't stop them. You drew your knees in and hid your face, trying to muffle your sobs as much as you could.  
  
After several bouts of crying, you decided that it was time to get out of the room. You felt suffocated inside. As you walked out, you came across Steve leaning against a wall, facing a huge window. You noticed that he was still in his suit. He looked tired, his eyes didn't even blink but you knew he wasn't focusing on the beautiful scenery outside. His mind was far away. You prayed to God that he wasn't as pissed as he was earlier and gingerly walked towards him. He heard you approach before he saw you. You knew because his stance straightened and his jaw clenched. You regretted your decision right then. Despite all that, you continued on your trajectory towards him. “Steve,” you whispered when you reached close to him. He turned to you,  a stern expression on his face, “Y/N.” It sounded curt and you tried hard not to wince at the way he spoke. “Is everything okay?” you asked, not able to keep the question inside you anymore. You were sure something had happened. Well, of course, this didn’t count as a normal situation for either of you as Thanos had just wiped away half of the universe and his best friend with it but the subtle yet dark glares he gave you made it feel a lot more personal.  
  
He turned to face you fully, an emotion flashing in his eyes but before you could read it, it was gone. “That’s a bad question, Y/N.” You looked down at your hands and saw them tremble a little. You knew your feelings had grown for the man in front of you considerably but you didn’t know that it would turn you into a trembling mess of a person. You cleared your throat a little, trying to form coherent sentences. “I meant between you and me.”  
  
A bitter chuckle escaped his lips, one that caught you a little off-guard. This wasn’t good. “You should go and get some rest. You look a little pale.”  
  
“I am okay. It wasn’t that bad really,” you offered him a small smile with your answer, trying to ease the tension between you two. It seemed to have the opposite effect. He quirked an eyebrow at you, “You sure about that? Because I remember that you were in so much pain that you passed out. I was the one who carried you, after all.”  
  
Your mind only registered the fact that you had been in his arms, unconscious, and you tried to smother the butterflies that erupted in your stomach. “Thanks for that, really. But it doesn’t hurt much. Not anymore.” You touched your wound through your gown and smiled at him again.  
  
“Yeah, well that’s because we are here in Wakanda. They fixed you up. Still doesn’t make what you did okay.”  
  
If you were confused because of Steve’s tone with you before, then at this point you were completely stunned. “What do you mean? What did I do?” you questioned him, your voice louder than you had intended.  
  
“Really Y/N? You need me to spell it out for you? Don’t you remember? It happened just a few hours ago. You charged at Thanos, all alone, vulnerable. Remember?” His remarks were getting more and more sarcastic and you found yourself unable to take it anymore. But you decided it was better to reason with him. “I was there to fight, Steve. We all were. I just did what I had to do.”  
  
In a lightning-fast move, he stepped closer to you, holding you by your upper arms. His grip was tight enough to leave bruises. “Stop it Y/N, stop being so fucking clueless. You know it was a stupid move. Going against someone like Thanos. He would have killed you, Y/N. Another fucking death on my conscience as if there aren’t enough of them already.”  
  
It was impossible for you to register how close Steve was to you at the moment because you were too busy seething. He was the one to jump without a parachute from a goddamn plane. You knew it because Nat had told you when you first joined and were extremely intimidated by the super people who lived with you. She was your supervising officer, after all. So she made it her job to help you get comfortable with the team. But you couldn't believe what Steve was insinuating right now. You had thought that the months of hiding from the law had promoted your relationship from a Commanding officer and his subordinate to two friends. You both had also decided to forego the titles as he didn’t want to be called Captain anymore. It made your relationship so much more intimate. Not as much as you wanted, but it was still better. But he still didn't trust you to take care of yourself. Yes, you weren't a super soldier. Yes, you didn't change into a green raging monster nor did you have powers like Wanda did. But neither did Natasha and yet she managed to intimidate the whole team with one cold look. You would push yourself hard during your training under her so that you could be a valuable member of the team. Granted, it took a long time for you to be half as skilled as your SO but both of you agreed that your weapons were far more lethal than anyone else. And yet here you were, being scolded like a stubborn child for being reckless. You were an Avenger for fuck's sake and Steve still refused to treat you like one. All the good time you spent with him, all the beers you shared, stories he told you about his childhood and the things you told him about your own became rotten memories. He never really respected you. He saw you as weak, someone who needed to be protected and not someone he could trust. No, he could never trust you. You were just a broken, little girl after all. How dare you try to save your friends!  
  
You placed your hands on his chest and pushed him with an amount of strength that he wasn’t expecting from you. You backed away from him as tears threatened to spill from your eyes. "I am an Avenger. I had as much right to fight Thanos as anyone else did. Yes, I could have died, but that could have happened whether I fought him or not. He could have snapped me out of existence. But I am here, aren't I? But I get it, Steve. You'll never see me as an equal, as an Avenger. Because I am not fast enough, not strong enough, not good enough. I get it. I'll never be good enough for you."  
  
Tears had started to leak freely from your eyes and you berated yourself for that too. Apparently, you weren't even strong enough to keep your emotions in check. You started a hurried limp towards the room you had been previously occupying. You knew you had said too much and that if he replayed your words in his mind more than once, he could pick up on your feelings for him. It made all of this so much more painful. You wanted so much from him but you were grasping at straws. All you had ever gotten from him, as it turns out, was just pity. You were just hoping to lock yourself somewhere away from him, away from all this. Before you could execute your plan you heard him take your name softly, almost as if he was pleading you to stop. You halted your steps and turned to face him.  
  
“Bucky’s gone Y/N. I lost him again. And Sam is gone too.”  
  
His words shocked you to your core. You knew that Bucky had been killed due to the snap, but you had simply assumed that Sam was missing. He was an amazing person and you felt your heart plummet in your chest when you realized the pain Steve was in. You wiped away a stray tear and your heart clenched at the image of the broken man in front of you. “I saw you when you attacked Thanos. I thought you would be gone too. I thought I will be alone again Y/N. I just-" he paused, clearing his throat as the emotion of the moment took over his ability to speak. Hearing his voice crack, seeing unshed tears in his eyes had rendered you speechless. This wasn't the Steve you were used to. He was the embodiment of strength and determination but the friends he had lost had taken all that away from him. As if your legs had a mind of their own, they carried you close to him. You cradled his face in your hands, the beard scratching your skin lightly. He closed his eyes and released a deep sigh as he revelled in your touch. The gesture made your heart flutter a little in your chest. "I am here Steve. I am right here. I know, at that moment, I didn't care if I lived or died but there was no other choice to make. I was just trying to stop Thanos, I know that you were too."  
  
He opened his blue orbs to look at you, a small frown on his face. If he doubted that you were aware of him holding Thanos back, barehanded, then he was wrong. "I know," he answered, his hands covering yours and giving them a small squeeze. "I just didn't think I could live with it. If you were not here with me. You are a capable woman, Y/N and you are an Avenger like the rest of us. But you have to know, you mean a lot more to me than that. I can't imagine going on if you are not here."  
  
Your breath hitched in your throat after hearing his words. The desperation in his voice, the way his gaze had gotten a lot more intense than before made you feel like your knees would give out under you. Tears stung your eyes, you had waited for him to address what was between you for so long, and here he was saying things that were breaking your heart and mending it at the same time. "Steve," you whispered softly to him when his forehead came to rest against yours. "I have always been here for you. With you. The accords, everything, I did it all for you. I did it all because I love you."  
  
Your eyes widened at your little confession. You hadn't meant to say so much. You clearly hadn't thought of telling him that you loved him. But you had realized the truth of this statement only after saying it out loud. You waited with bated breath for him to say something.  
  
"Say it again."   
  
Surprised, you looked up at him, doe-eyed. You felt him pull you just a tad closer. "Say it again," he repeated, sterner, and you obliged.  
  
"I love you, Steve."  
  
"God I'll never get tired of hearing this," he spoke, his voice getting deeper and coarser. Before you could react, he captured your lips with his in a searing kiss. You let out a gasp of surprise but it only took you a moment to return it with the same intensity. You felt everything he had been trying to convey to you. His grief, his lust for you. How much he desired you. You were lost in him, feeling nothing but the way he held you, and the way his lips melded with yours. Your arms wrapped around his neck as he pulled you closer, not leaving an ounce of space between your bodies. His palms were flat against your own back, and you felt the warmth they radiated through the thin fabric of your gown. Your own fingers were lost in his long hair and he let out a growl in your mouth. You cheered, internally.   
  
When he pulled away from you, he was only slightly breathless whereas you were panting like you had just run a marathon. Curse the Super Soldier serum. You only realized that he had swept you up in his arms when the balls of your feet landed softly on the floor. Pink dusted your cheeks. This was so much better than anything you could have ever imagined, and you had a really wild imagination. Your current state had him looking at you with mild concern in his eyes. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"   
  
His words melted your heart a little. You knew Steve would sometimes worry that he didn't know his own strength. But you had never felt so good and you just wanted to be here with him forever if he'd have you. "Steve," you rasped, tracing his lower lip with your thumb, an action that caused him to hold you tighter again which made you smile. "I can do this all day."

**Author's Note:**

> So, my first Steve Rogers x Reader fic. It isn't very long and it is probably not my best work but I would love some feedback. Thanks for reading.


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